Wednesday, April 3, 2013

My recurring dream of Mom

Ever since Mom passed away, I have often dreamed of her. Most of the time the theme of the dream is similar.

Mom had passed away but she came back to life and lived as she had always lived before. In most of the dreams, she was unaware that she had died. She lived as if she had never moved on.

In all of the dreams, we were always at a loss to explain how Mom who had died was now alive once more.

And at the end of these dreams, Mom would die once again and we once again had to mourn her passing. The best thing about the dream was having Mom alive once more and being the pillar of strength and the cornerstone that she had always been for the entire family.

Of course added to that dream is the horrific fact that she came back from the dead.

Somehow though, she came back fully form and healthy. Just as I remembered her before she got ill and ultimately passed away.

In all my dreams, she never came back looking zombie like or grotesque.

I don't really like to psychoanalyze myself, but it is obvious to me that I have issues with letting go of Mom and wishes she still walks the earth with us.

Such is the way of life that Mom is really gone and I will just have to get used to the idea that only my own death would mean that I would see Mom once again.

And as I have no plans of dying anytime soon, I guess my reunion with Mom will just have to wait.

I love you and miss you Mommy. Al-Faitihah

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