Sunday, October 15, 2017

Conversation With Mom 47

Mommy,

Adik rindu Mommy (I miss you Mommy). Daddy reposted a memory of when you were in Day 25 being warded in Serdang Hospital.

I read that post and saw the pictures and broke down crying.

Soon it will be 7 years since you left us. It hurts just the same as it did when I first said goodbye to you.

I miss your smile, I miss the sound of your voice. I miss hugging you. I miss our talks. I miss preparing meals with you. I miss you. So much.

Life is that much less richer without you. There is an emptiness, a hollow feeling where your presence once was.

Abang told me, three days ago while I was sleeping I called out your name while extending my hand as if reaching out for you. If Abang didn't tell me about it, I wouldn't have known I had been dreaming about you.

Mommy it hurts so bad not having you in our lives anymore. Everyday I say a prayer in your memory, everyday I think of you, everyday I miss you.

If I could spend just one more day with you, just to tell you again how much I love you and miss you and need you, I would be the happiest person on earth.

I miss you so much Mommy.

Words are not enough to express the wrenching pain in my heart. I hurt so bad missing you. I love you so much Mommy. You were the best part of me. You were my best friend. You were the only person in my life that I could totally be myself with.

I could tell you everything and anything about me and know that you would love me still without question or hesitation.

I love you so much Mommy. And I miss you. Every second, every minute and every hour of every day.

I love you and you are no longer here for me to tell you that.

I miss you with every breath that is in me.

Al-Fatihah.